Chapter 2. The Way Muwui Lives (2)
“Son of a bitch, son of a cow, son of a horse, son of a damn cat, son of a damned beggar, no, son of a damned beggar who might as well starve to death right in front of food he’s about to eat… Son of a bastard who tries to ride a flea then falls off it and dies.”
A variety of insults flowed out of Muwui’s mouth like a magical chant.
After muttering like this for quite some time, Muwui sprung up from his bed with a dissatisfied expression.
“Damn it! I can’t even think of any more insults now.”
Insults would gradually lose its meaning the more it’s used.
By that point, all the stress lost by cursing might as well be stacked all back up again.
After a continuous stream of curses, Muwui stood back up again to look around.
It wasn’t a very big space, but there might be something hidden somewhere, wasn’t there?
“There has to be something that can open the door.”
He circled the cave several dozens of times riddled with that thought.
Along with it came several tens of different curses.
“Son of a bitch, son of a cow, son of a horse, son of a damn cat, son of a pathetic bastard, son of a beggar, no, a son of a beggar who would choke to death on food… Son of a beggar who would fight with a dog over food and die from rabies!”
There was ‘nothing there’.
After another round of swears– Muwui finally decided to look at the words inscribed on his bed.
“Lord, so many words… Did I somehow get into the wrong type of mysterious encounter? Was this a mysterious encounter for like a lantern maker or something?”
Muwui slowly read the inscription with a sour face.
He was certain that something written here would help him with his escape. Finally, learning how to read in the army was starting to pay off.
The reason why he learned how to read was simple.
Because not many knew how to read back in the day, he had thought knowing how to read might let him get a little more favorable position in the army.
In any case, not knowing how to read probably would have made him go mad from curiosity.
“This unfair bitch of a world requires you to be able to read just to gain benefits…!”
Muwui, after spitting out another useless complaint, continued with his reading.
“Dear opener… Opener my ass. I’m a man known by the name of Sword God of Changes in the Jianghu… Who?”
Sword God of Changes.
Muwui didn’t know who this was. He just knew that there were a few famous people up North with the word “Change” in their title.
This was just one of the few things he’d picked up from the wanderer. He assumed that the writer was one of those people the wanderer mentioned, but that was all he could do currently. He couldn’t even try to confirm his suspicions.
After reading a few more sentences, Muwui screamed out in shock.
A certain sentence struck out to him more than anything.
[I have created a formation for my successor in this place. This formation is called the Clear Mind, Infinite Time Formation. It soothes the mind and… This formation is set to activate when one meditates on the Temperate Stone…]
“Why! How! Why did it activate on its own! I didn’t meditate for shit! You son of a bitch, son of a cow, son of a horse…”
Muwui listed off his usual stream of swears with a reddened face.
His eyes landed on the “Temperate Stone” part of the writing again, and ended up shouting into the empty air.
“The damn formation can’t even tell if I’m sleeping or meditating!”
He wasn’t dumb enough not to have realized what the stone he slept on was.
The problem was that this warm stone that he used as a bed was supposed to be something used for meditating.
The formation probably mistook his sleep for meditation and that was the reason for why he’s stuck in here.
To be completely fair, Muwui’s course of actions in this situation was quite strange in itself. Who in their right minds would drink water, eat moss, then go to sleep on a rock plate when finding treasure this precious?
Muwui had, by himself, done something no man would ever have conceived of ever doing.
After throwing a fit for quite some time, Muwui regained enough of his composure to resume reading the rest of the words on the stone.
“There must be a way to open it, right?”
He slowly read the rest of the passage.
[……Don’t be surprised if the formation activates. It will naturally disappear when the time comes……]
[…..once your qi is injected to stone. Note that this is only achievable after reaching the eighth star of Change. I have prepared many pills to accelerate this process, so do not worry about the expense of time and…..]
Muwui stopped reading there. He stood up slowly from his spot, walked over to a corner in the cave, and sat down. Tears began to drip down from his face.
He could only think of the pills outside the closed door.
“Sword God, you son of a bitch, son of a cow, son of a…”
And with this, a full day passed.
Muwui muttered to himself in his squatting position on his stone bed.
“Why couldn’t he just put the pills and the books in the cave to begin with? What the hell was this crazy bastard thinking?”
Muwui was speaking to his stone bed.
“How is that supposed to make any sense? Closing the door while someone sleeps? You crazy fuck, if you want to make a mysterious encounter, do it properly damn it!”
Muwui was talking about logic.
But let’s take a look here.
There’s a mysterious encounter.
What kind of a person would look at some precious treasures only to turn his back on them, in order to scrape up, of all things, some moss into his mouth, only to go to sleep afterwards? On a stone bed of all things?! How would that person be qualified to talk about logic in any sense of the word??
Any sane person would secure the pills and the books for himself before all else. The next thought to appear in the person’s mind would be to think about how he could use the treasures for himself. This was what any martial artist would do when faced with such a situation.
In other words, Muwui was no martial artist. He was just someone normal… well, abnormal– who had managed to get into a cave meant only for martial artists.
It would be even more unthinkable to assume that a person might just leave treasures behind to eat some moss, then take a nap.
No, even so they probably might have expected the person to go to sleep. With the treasures in hand, of course.
That was the proper respect that any martial artist would pay to an encounter such as this.
And this was a person who had thrown logic completely out the window, yet still had the gall to complain about logic afterwards.
It couldn’t make any less sense.
“Well, what would martial artists know about logic anyways?”
Muwui’s face moulded into a bitter smile as he rolled on the bed in boredom.
More time passed.